When I first started working for Corporate Banking USA, I was delighted that I could add Miss Chef to my health insurance benefits. Only the large, corporate restaurants offer benefits to all their employees, and paying for one's own insurance is well beyond the reach of most hourly-wage workers. So you can imagine how relieved I was to find a corporate culture that could extend protection to my sweetie in her job working with fire and knives!
It wasn't until after we'd gone through all the selection and registration processes that I started noticing some odd deductions on my paycheck. Lo and behold, it was one of those hidden costs of our inability to be legally married. The cost of her benefits--both the amount the company contributes and my contributions--are considered taxable income. So the company has to re-gross my income by that amount and take taxes out.
It has been nearly 7 years (between two different companies) that I have been carrying this little burden in my paycheck. After my initial resentment and irritation, I eventually just had to accept the situation, and finally pretty much forgot about it. I still appreciated knowing that I had some protection within the company from being treated unfairly because I fell in love with the wrong kind of person.
Last week at home I received in the mail a rather plain envelope from my employer. Inside was a simple, one-page letter regarding the health benefits I was able to extend to my domestic partner. (I love the fact that they don't distinguish between same-sex and opposite-sex partners.) The letter re-iterated the Company's commitment to diversity and inclusion, blah blah blah, and re-stated the situation with the tax penalties I am subjected to.
Then there was this part: "The payment described below will help offset the additional federal and state taxes you incur as a result of these regulations."
Yes--the big, faceless Corporation is paying extra money to ensure I am treated with equality. Not only are they granting me extra payments to offset the taxes I already pay, but they are bumping them up by enough to cover the taxes on the extra money itself! In addition, my July month-end paycheck would include a lump-sum payment to cover those extra costs through the first half of 2012.
I have to tell you, I grew emotional when I read that letter. Even in explaining it here, I'm getting a little choked up. They didn't have to do this. There was no general outcry within the company or among its customers, clients or shareholders. One short paragraph indicates this was a result of feedback on an annual PRIDE Global survey and various diversity and HR organizations within the company. I know the Company's not going to do anything that impinges on their bottom line; I know there's got to be something in it for the Company...but the fact that they were open to the idea, and went through all the calculations and paperwork to make it happen, is a little flabbergasting.
Still, when I went online at work today to check my month-end paycheck, I was not prepared for what was in there. The monthly addition to my pay is not chump change. But the retroactive amount for the past six months was over $1400.
Yeah, that's a nice little stocking stuffer, isn't it? But I'm not sharing the amount with you because I'm excited about it. I want you to think about what it represents. That's $2800 a year of financial penalty because my co-citizens refuse to recognize my and Miss Chef's relationship as legally valid (not morally or religiously, just legally). Over the past 7 years, I have lost over $19,000 by extending to Miss Chef the same benefits that my coworkers extend to their spouses without that price tag. The same that you might use to cover your own husband or wife. The loss would be even greater if we had children. Imagine if I'd been able to divert that much into my 401(k)? How much more secure would my retirement be with those extra funds?
And that's just one hidden cost that we bear. One hidden cost that we weren't really aware of. How many more are we carrying? I am fortunate that my employer is extending protections to me that my government is not willing to. My government, that I'm supporting.
You know what's even more shocking? My employer is one of the big-name, international Wall Street banks that we all love to hate. Yeah, even Big Banking recognizes the right thing. When will the rest of our population?
I hope you don't mind, but I shared this via Facebook---great, great, great post!
ReplyDeleteL
Wonderful that your company is doing that - I got goosebumps reading this. It's just every kind of wrong that you were placed in the original situation to start with. Excellent post.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jenny.
DeleteAwesome post! I shall repost too!
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it. Do you and Jim each have your own benefits?
DeleteFunny, we moved to NC on a job JIM got with Fells Wargo. I was on his insurance (domestic partnership). He went to work for a different company and eventually I went to Fells Wargo. He's on my insurance. It had the best coverage and best price. I'm on his dental plan though because they had an 80/20 coverage plan and I'm a crown nightmare.
DeleteYour very lucky to have such a thoughtful and very generous employer. My hubby has worked for the airlines the entire 22 years we've been married and he can't get full-time status and benefits, which means he can't get me or our kids on his health insurance. His employer has a plan we could purchase but it's so cost prohibitive, due to his low part-time wages that we can't afford it. So, the kids have state funded health insurance and we have to pay for a private local plan for me which basically covers emergencies only. We have no 401K...not that we could afford that either, because of the sad state of the airlines. At this point we're all just lucky he has a job, even if that means we only see each other 1-2 days out of every week, in between the time he flies back to work in Phoenix out in 118F temps on the tarmac of the airport. I'm glad you're working for a company that is treating you well. Never take it for granted!
ReplyDelete~Lisa
Very true. Miss Chef was going on the "young and invicible" plan for the first part of her career. Doesn't work as well as you get older. It takes a load off to know that a bad accident at work won't automatically mean financial disaster too. I didn't realize John was only part-time--ouch!
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Delete(too many typos in the previous post) Yeah, he's been part-time for the past 3 years. Most of the time he can get enough hours to be working full time plus some, but the airlines are too scared to upgrade any of their PT employees to FT because of the cost of fuel, wages, and this poor economy. When I worked for the airlines over 17 years ago, I was furloughed twice and then I took the offered retirement when I got prego with my twins (no long term benefits to do that, though). John has been furloughed at least 6 times in the past 20+ years of working for the airlines...all occurring after 9/11. He's looked at other employment options, but even with a 4+ year college degree, there's nothing better and the competition for any good jobs is too fierce for the average white male. Companies don't have to give their employees any perks or treat them well as there will always be other potential employees waiting at the door to be hired. So, yes, be very grateful for your job. ~ Lisa
DeleteYeah, well the airlines' attitudes toward their employees explains why passengers tend to have such a lousy experience. I think my company recognizes that most of their employees have some skills and knowledge of the job that make them valuable enough to keep around (thus this nice perq). The airlines' view seems really short-sighted. Why should you go the extra mile for a customer or other employees, if you feel the company wouldn't go the extra mile for you?
DeleteI agree. When I first started working for the airlines over 23 years ago, an airline job was coveted by many. The pay was better than most companies, the benefits were top notch, the training was excellent, the unions actually worked hard to protect and support you, and the hours were fair, too.
DeleteAnd flying, one of the best free perks of working for an airline was a true pleasure where you felt valued and pampered. Flying was still a luxury back then.
I'm not sure when all that actually changed. Most say 9/11 changed all that, along with the outrageous costs for fuel, but the airlines changed their views on quality and focused on quantity and saving money at all costs. They furlouged, laid off, and offered early retirement to their well paid employees and brought in untrained people willing to work for minimum wage at part-time with no good benefits. And then they told the rest of their employees that had stuck around, 'we're cutting your pay and benefits, if you don't like it, you can leave'. And well, it's been downhill ever since.
Our family has unlimited free flying benefits and I rarely ever fly. I hate feeling like cattle, being frisked in security, worrying if I will ever see my bags again(of if everything in them will be sorted through and then pilfered) and I don't feel that the airplanes are safe anymore.
~Lisa
Astonishing!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all: God bless the corporation that behaves properly, with compassionate convictions.
Second of all: shame on the policies and laws that treat you, and many others, so unfairly. Not only are you disrespected, but you throw more into the gov't coffers than citizens with *equal* rights!?!
I am really happy for this happier outcome... it's yours to enjoy, and always should have been. The rest breaks my heart, because I want to believe our society is enlightened enough to be well beyond nonsense like this.
I'm glad I wrote about this, then. Because I tend to assume everybody has heard about the many benefits of marriage same sex couples don't get. Here's another one--whichever one of us outlives the other will not be able to collect the other's Social Security benefits. So we'll lose our life partner and a big chunk of income. How depressing.
DeleteIs it possible to be any more depressed over all this than I already am? Sheesh. Yet another thing I haven't thought about. This really makes me take the F U stance against those in favor of "traditional marriage" be it a family member or a dear. I don't think they fully understand what a great benefit they have that we're denied!
DeleteI think that kind of attitude is what makes some people get upset with the gay/lesbian community. Why can't those of us in 'traditional marriages' be in favor of it? Some of us appreciate and honor our traditions, even if they aren't as important to others. Are we supposed to give up our own rights to be in a traditional marriage/partnership? Even though those of us are in traditional marriages, we can still support and encourage same-sex marriages, too. I wish I could change the laws, but I'm not in politics. All I can do is vote and show my support. Perhaps it's a two-way street? I for sure won't take that rude "F U" stance against you just because you live your life differently than I do. Live and Let Live.
DeleteLisa, I think what Garret is referring to is that most people use the phrase "traditional marriage" in a gay-unfriendly way. It usually indicates that hetero marriage is the only relationship worth legal recognition, so "support traditional marriage" comes across to us as "you gays have no right to be married." I've never heard of anyone calling for fewer rights for traditional marriage. (Wouldn't surprise me, though, there are ridiculous extremes on both sides.)
DeleteAmen, sister! I got choked up with you while reading this. What a refreshing, wonderful and unexpected surprise.
ReplyDeleteLike I said, they've gained some loyalty from me with this (and good PR, which I'm sure entered into their calculations). :-)
DeleteI'm sorry I've been silent for so long - a bit of depression and missing my daughter and grandson. I had known about the insurance hardship for same-sex partners, but not the - to me - immoral ramifications. How can a society that claims equality for all be so damn unequal? And I had never even thought about the fact that the government would not allow sharing of a deceased partner's social security benefits. When will people wake up? Same-sex marriage is legal in Iowa, but not in Georgia, where I plan to move back to in a few months. I regret that; I'm hetero, but have so many gay friends, as does my daughter. But I need to be close to my little grandson so I can watch him grow up with, hopefully, the same all people have equal rights belief that his parents and I have.
ReplyDeleteNancy in Iowa
Nancy, sorry to hear you've been fighting the big D. Been there! I hope you can get out of Iowa before winter. Don't know about that area, but my part of Ohio was dreeeeary in winter! Thanks for your comment, it's nice when people come out of the woodwork to support us.
DeleteWow, how awesome is that? Wish I worked for a company that had half the thoughtfulness as yours does!
ReplyDeleteYeah, who knew Corporate had a heart?
Deleteapologies for this "selfish" comment
ReplyDeletebut I needed to thank you for the following quote you left for me......
"After the flower show, I think you need to start working on the Scruffy Farmer British Olympics. Vole-sucking, goose house de-lousing, dog poo hurling, hysterical duck herding, synchronized cat farting...the possibilities are truly endless. And hearing it all described with a posh British accent--priceless."
a cracking bit of writing
Coming from you, that's a compliment and a half. But truthfully, almost every word is quoted from your writing!
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ReplyDeleteDo you mind if I re-post? You did an excellent job of explaining how the marriage equality issue is about more than just state recognition of your relationship!
ReplyDeleteBTW- This is Rebecca from your Tower Players days!
DeleteLol, thanks for identifying yourself! I actually said out loud "Who the hell is this?" Yeah, go ahead and share. Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteJust got back from a road trip to your post - what wonderful news, and what a ridiculous situation to begin with! I remember my first battles to get my same-sex partner included in my benefit plans as a teacher - this would have been in the late 80s. Hah! No luck there. I did have receptive and sympathetic ears at my union, but nobody willing to take it on as a cause. That changed (same school board) in the 90s when the laws in Canada started to change and now everyone takes it for granted. When I look back I am amazed at how much has changed in a relatively short period of time. It helps me from tearing out my hair when I am confronted with the bizarre dregs of homophobia that still lurk in the shadows.
ReplyDeleteAre you going to do anything special with the retroactive lump sum? I know there will be lots of reasons to add it to your general revenue stream, but maybe some good reasons to use it to celebrate the beautiful fact of your relationship with Miss Chef. Maybe a romantic overnight getaway?
Miriam, that's an excellent idea. But I recently had about $2500 worth of repairs done on my car, so, it was more welcome than I let on. Easy come, easy go!
DeleteAlison, I'm sorry I missed this post until now. It's so important. I am glad your company is doing right by you and Miss Chef, and I hope there is some legislation soon to make all companies do the right thing.
ReplyDeleteYup...sometimes hope is all we have.
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