Friday Fragments*

When life's hectic, every day seems full of fragments!  Why not celebrate it?  As I've been known  to say during ongoing crises, "Well, at least it's not boring."  (*Mrs. 4444's post isn't up at "press time," but go here to see what Friday Fragments is all about.)

~ € ~

Morning: a Winter Harvest

I believe I planted this box with a mesclun mix in October.  I got one really good harvest in December, and then it sat there (under cover) sort of in suspended animation through the coldest part of winter.  As the evening draws later and the nights linger above freezing, I've been able to uncover our lettuce and it's starting to grow again.

Actually, the arugula's growing like crazy.  The other ones are just...stretching, checking things out.  Still, it's green.  I reseeded a couple of weeks ago, but nothing's come up yet.  That's ok, I've got more seed, and more time.

~ € ~

I believe I've discovered a new tongue twister.  Say this five times fast: "An '04 Ford F-150."

~ € ~

I thought I'd share with you a game I've developed to make the rush-hour commute a little more enjoyable for myself.  I call it the Red Light Game.  You have to have another driver to play it with, and it has to be a particular kind...the kind who tailgates you in stop-and-go streetlight traffic, as if you could control the unending line of cars and red lights ahead of you.

Once you have this kind of driver positioned behind you on the road, approach the next stoplight slowly.  Stop at least one car length back from the car in front of you.  The anxious driver behind you will most likely park so close to your back bumper that you won't be able to see his headlights (or hers).  Then you'll know you've got a live one!

Take your foot off the break and roll forward two or three feet, then stop again.  The car behind you should roll up to nearly kiss your bumper again.  Continue, using the remaining space judiciously enough to last through the stoplight.  See how many times you can make the other driver move!

I've never yet had a driver realize I was playing with them, and I find it delicious that I'm usually laughing aloud while they're probably gripping their steering wheel with white knuckles, as their blood pressure rises and their car jerks repeatedly to a stop.  If they manage to go around me once traffic starts to move, I like to smile and wave, as a way to thank them for playing.

It's lovely to start the day with a laugh, don't you think?

~ € ~

I'm still going ga-ga over our upcoming trip to Europe this summer.  We still have four months to go, but as a friend pointed out, the anticipation lasts much longer than the trip, so I'm enjoying it to the hilt!  I realized the other day that I'm pretty familiar with Paris, having lived there for a year, but I know next to nothing about London.  So I'm filling my not-really-spare time at work with web searches like "St Paul's Cathedral" and "Portobello Market."  Fun!

I've also realized that I'm going to have to invest in some shoes.  Some seriously good walking shoes.  Preferably ones that don't scream "SNEAKER!"  I'm not sure of the best place to find them, but I'm willing to sink a fair amount of overtime earnings into a good pair.  Any suggestions for sources or brands?

~ € ~

Thanks for reading and commenting.  Hope everyone has a great weekend!

An Invitation to Happiness



Picture from Happy Frog and I

 In spite of trying to keep my blogroll small, I do enjoy visiting new blogs.  Every once in a while (when you all are off having interesting lives in between providing me with new posts to read!) I check out the Blogs of Note.

That is how I happened upon Happy Frog and I a couple of days ago.  It is written by an English woman "closer to [her] forties than [her] thirties," who uses a stuffed smiling frog as her muse.  I quite liked one of her regular postings, and told her I was going to copy it here!

It's called 15 Positive Things, and every month she posts about 15, um, positive things that happened throughout the previous 30-odd days.  What a great way to stop and smell the roses, I thought.  And then, I realized how brilliant an idea it is.

See, not only will I have to sit down each month to reflect on all the good things that happen to me, I won't be able to come up with them all in one sitting.  Which means that throughout my month, I will have to focus on and jot down happy things; about one every other day.

What a great way to program myself for happiness.  I don't think it will take much time; just a second or two to write things in my planner every day or so.  And then, voila!  At the end of the month, a ready-made blog post!  And, in the process, I will hopefully develop a more positive mindset in my everyday life.  It's like free therapy. *grin*

I'm so excited about the idea that I'm inviting you all to play along.  I know December's a bit of a challenge, but I've never believed in waiting until the New Year to make resolutions for myself!  So, in the last week of December or first week of January, I plan to post my 15 Positive Things.  If you'd like to participate, I can do a Mr. Linky, and you can post your own list, and we can share it here.  And if December's too crazy, there's always January...

So whaddya think, wanna try it?

We Have A Winner!

Wow, that was fast!  First of all, thank you to everyone who hazarded a guess--and let me tell you, there were some good ones in there!  The intersection between the full moon and autumnal equinox was a mad coincidence, I swear!  As for the rest...

• We don't know when Rosie's birthday is.  She was adopted Dec. 9 2006.
• My second year of blogging isn't 'til next month (and I keep thinking it's November, anyway).
• Next month is also when Miss Chef and I will celebrate 10 years together!  (Amazing!)
• Miss Chef's anniversary at the restaurant falls in August...and I can't remember how many years it's been!  (If I had to guess, I'd say...3?  It feels like more than that.)
• Believe it or not, I don't remember how long I've known each of you, but I'm sure I'd be surprised by how short a time it is!

 Ok, so the real answer was: my 200th post (published right before the contest). 

 

Congratulations to Nekkid Chicken (also known as Mal), out there in Texas land.  I'm not sure how confident I feel about sending my homemade NC cayenne powder to the land of TexMex cuisine!  But I'll bite the bullet and put together a fiesta of Flartopian flavor for Mal's holiday pleasure.  I might even let the rest of you all have a peek at it later.

 

(And I swear on Miss Chef's well-thumbed Larousse Gastronomique that Mal's giving me a blog award had nothing to do with it!)

Hot Blog! A Giveaway!

Whoo-whee, it's about time for another giveaway!  Here's your chance to get on my Christmas gift list!

Yup, you asked, and I'm giving.  One lucky reader will be receiving a prize package straight from Flartopia's kitchen.  It will include a selection of herbs and spice as featured in my last post, along with a few other goodies.  (Since we're still putting stuff up, I'm not sure yet what we'll finish up with.  Prepare to be surprised!)

I'm not much into drawings and don't feel like using a randomizer, so y'all are gonna have to earn this prize.  :grin:  Don't worry, you don't have to do calisthenics or race across the globe in search of clues.  (Though that is a good idea, isn't it?)

While it may seem a bit random to have a holiday-gift drawing in September, the timing of this giveaway is quite deliberate.  I'm actually doing this to celebrate something here in Flartopia.  So that's what you have to do to enter: leave a comment with your answer to What is Flartus commemorating?

This contest is open until midnight Friday (Eastern Daylight Time, if you wanna get picky).  If nobody guesses it by then, I'll post a hint over the weekend.  Yes, overseas readers are eligible!  Just remember, these pantry products are being prepared for the Christmas holidays, so it may take a month or two before everything's ready to send to you.

But it's worth waiting for, right?

Dear So-and-So

Something new...I've been reading Alix's Dear So and So posts for awhile now over at Casa Hice, but for some reason today I suddenly felt the urge to jump in and join the party! Maybe it's 'cause I've been feeling stressed again this week, but I've just got to get some things off my chest.

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Dear London,

I know we barely know each other, but I'd like to give you a heads-up about some potential new residents arriving soon who are very dear to me. They're not 100% sure yet they'll be making the move, but they're (mostly) pretty excited about it. I'm not sure how I feel yet; I'll miss them greatly, but on the other hand, it will be a great opportunity for you and I to get to know each other better. And of course, we'll have to stop in to see your half-sister Paris, once we're in the neighborhood. At any rate, I would appreciate it if you could extend your most gracious welcome to my loved ones, especially considering the difficulties of a trans-Atlantic move. I'm sure you understand.

Hope to see you soon,
Flartus

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Dear Sub-Prime Customers,

I know that spending 4 minutes on the phone with me, making sure we have your correct address, and that the dealer didn't pocket half of your down payment or lie to you about being required to purchase a service warranty, is a huge sacrifice to you. But I'd think that the $18,000 we're putting up, so you can style around in that SUV that you just had to have, instead of the reliable compact car across the lot, just might make it worth your time. So can the attitude, and don't blame us that your previous repossessions and consistently late mortgage payments jacked your interest rate up on a luxury car you only put $500 down on. Oh, and by the way--I can hear you peeing. And no, it doesn't improve my impression of you.

Good luck with those payments,
Your Friendly Loan Processor

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Dear Car Dealer,

I'm not an idiot. I can tell that paycheck is falsified, and I know that a "service address" on a utility bill is not where she makes her payments. Get your documentation straight before you send in the contract, and maybe it won't take 10 days to get your money.

Efficiently yours,
Your Frustrated Loan Processor

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Dear Rosie,

Thank you so much for your patience with us. I know it must be frustrating and tiresome to spend so many hours alone each day. And then I come home, too tired to give you a good, long walk, but not too tired to spend my few free hours in front of the computer, ignoring you. And, other than ripping open Jennifer's giveaway prize I'd so carefully wrapped, and leaving the bare bar of soap in the middle of the living room as if to say, "I could eat a third one, if I really wanted to"--other than that, you've been so good! I really do appreciate what a great dog and companion you are. I'll try to keep you from temptation next week.

Hugs and squeezes,
Your Human
PS Oh, and I'm gonna start back to teaching in a couple of weeks, so, um...sorry, it's not gonna get better anytime soon.

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Dear Jennifer,

There may be a slight delay in the arrival of your giveaway prize. Never fear, it will be toothmark-free. I hope.

Thanks,
Flartus

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Dear Spring,

Is that you? I thought I saw you slinking in, behind those curtains of rain. The damp and dark disguised your slowly rising temperatures, but that red-winged blackbird I heard last week told me to be on the lookout. Then the daffodils started trumpeting your arrival earlier this week. I'm sure the fruit trees and other flowers will be re-decorating for you very soon. Please make yourself comfortable; we'd love for you to make it a nice long visit this year. Don't let bossy ol' Summer push you out too fast. Oh, and please, feel free to spread out, I know several distant bloggers who would love to see you, too.

Lots and lots of love,
Flartus

What's going on? It's a fun Friday meme hosted by Kat at 3-Bedroom Bungalow. Wanna join in? Stop by her site, grab the button and add yourself to Mr. Linky. I'm doing it for the first time, won't you join me?

Giveaway Winners!

No, it's not cookies! I just came home to this lovely arrangement of maraschino cherry & chocolate kiss delights earlier this week....and it was so appealing I just wanted to share.

It also made me laugh a little, because Miss Chef and I were both dead tired the night before when we tried to figure out how to store these without damaging them. I tried to help her put plastic wrap over the cookie sheets they were on, but my plastic wrap skills were so pathetic she had to take over, at which point I retired in ignominy to bed.

But I digress...

First, I want to sincerely thank everyone for their thoughtful and enthusiastic responses to my little giveaway. I was a bit overwhelmed when it came time to write up the little slips of paper with your names on them! So everybody gets a gold star!



And now I will reveal the prize: not only is this something locally made, but it is a non-food product made (in part) by Miss Chef herself! As I told Liz and Alison, you had to go pretty far back--almost a year, in fact--to remember my visit to Bosky Acres farm, where I helped Miss Chef and Michele. Not only did we start a batch of cheese, but there was also mention of:

Hey, I did say "mention!" I knew this would be a hard guess, which is why, since nobody figured it out, I picked TWO winners! Each will receive a bar of soft, fragrant Bosky Acres goat-milk soap and a bottle of luscious, silky lotion. I can honestly say that the patchouli-rose soaps smell good enough to eat. (And that's no exaggeration, because Rosie has actually eaten two of them! And I can also assure you, as a result, of their, um purity and gentleness...I shall say no more.)

In fact, I had Rosie pick the winners of the giveaway. I tossed all the names on the floor, and picked the first ones she sniffed at. (It took several tries for 2nd place, since she was more interested in sitting and lying on them for a tummy rub...but we eventually worked it out.)

Ok, so with no further ado, our winners are:

1st place: Alison of The French Experience Alison will be receiving a bar of Patchouli-Rose and a bottle of Lavender lotion.

2nd place: Jennifer of Goats in the Garden Jennifer will receive both soap and lotion of Patchouli-Rose ('cause Michele was out of Lavender lotion.)

Congratulations to both our deserving winners (not that the rest of you weren't equally deserving...) and thanks once again for playing along! Ladies, if you'll please email me at "Flartus" at hotmail.com, I'll send your prizes along post haste!

As a footnote, here are links to the favorite posts you all "voted" for:

Auntie Eva

Are You A Slave Driver? (migrant workers in Florida's tomato fields)

Bûche de Noël

Rosie's Kludge

Farmers' Markets (just a sample)

Thanksgiving 2009

Chicago

Update: Cooking with Gas, Giveaway Hint!

We've been cooking quite a bit lately; I'm not sure if it's just because of our new "toy," or if gas really does make everything easier!

Just for fun, I wanted to share with you what we've made so far--in order, as far as I can remember!

1. Cream of Wheat: Miss Chef was crushed that this should be the first thing made on our new stove. Apparently, CoW is a Yankee Thing. But it was cold when I walked Rosie Friday night...and whose overtime paid for the thing, hmmm??

2. SNICKERDOODLES!! Saturday morning fun with Miss Chef! Hopefully it erased a bit of the Cream of Wheat insult.

3. Casserole: leftover chicken and veggies with pasta from our NJ/NYC trip. Bonus benefit to gas burners: roasted red bell pepper! The best casserole I've made yet.

4. Fried egg: it really did cook better on gas. It even sounded better, crackling and all that.

5. Monday dinner: we invited a friend, and Miss Chef rolled up her sleeves. Pork roast w/a beer & mustard sauce, seasoned brown rice, orange cauliflower (a novelty found in the grocery store), roasted tomatoes, sautéed mushrooms.

6. maraschino cherry cookies w/kisses: one of Miss Chef's favorites

7. Tuesday dinner: Miss Chef had the night off, since we're getting another rain/snow/ice event tonight. I worked late and thought I was going to have to get the two thawed chickens roasted quickly while I took care of Rosie and tried to get this post done. But I walked into the house and smelled crispy roasted chicken and crispy roasted potatoes. And the color on the chicken was perfect.

Are you all jealous now? Sorry; I was too hungry to get pictures. I'll try to do better in the future.

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Ok, I've loved reading all your responses to my giveaway. (I've responded to all of you in the comments, except for Freddie; you're an outlier, Fred, with your crazy Chicago post!) And I applaud your guesses, there were several excellent ideas in there for a next giveaway. Yes, even cookies.

Alas, you are all wide of the mark.

So, with two days left, here's your hint:

It is indeed a locally-made product, previously mentioned on this blog, but it is not food.

That's it. That's all you're getting. Mwahahahaha!

Remember, everyone who has listed a favorite post is still entered in the drawing. I'll post the winner Friday evening, and reveal the mystery prize.

À bientôt !

New Arrival and a GIVEAWAY!

We've talked about it for years, since we finally bought our own home. We knew it would happen eventually; it was just a question of timing.

Well, today was the day. Do you know already what we welcomed into our home?

Miss Chef was home for the delivery. We had to coordinate several professionals to assist with the big event. I wish I could have been there to help her, but, in the end, it was her baby.

Her big, bright, shining, stainless steel baby...

Yes, we have finally converted--to cooking with gas! Attentive readers have probably noticed that Miss Chef was creating her culinary wonders on an electric stove; you may even have wondered how such a fabulous professional chef could live that way. Well, the house came with most of the original appliances, which were still very serviceable, and having a new mortgage doesn't tend to free up a lot of extra cash.

However, you may also remember that the bottom element of that 20-year old white stove went out during the Thanksgiving Feast of 2009. We could have just plunked down $40 for a new element...but maybe the dramatic malfunction was a sign. After all, I had been working crazy hours at two jobs, which eventually translated into the long-dreamed-of disposable income. What better reward for all my hard work?

So now we have not just a gas range, but one with five burners and a convection oven. The fifth burner is a long center one with a cast-iron grill. Looking forward to some pancakes or French toast in the morning... And I've never cooked in a convection oven before, but from what Miss Chef tells me, it can make a huge difference in baking. Time to dig up her snickerdoodle recipe!

As for the old stove, it is currently sitting forlornly in the dark at the head of our driveway. But it will soon be taken away to a new home. When the appliance salesman told us the delivery men would remove our old stove and take it to the...DUMP...Miss Chef and I looked at each other and said a silent "uh-uh."

The next morning I posted an announcement on our local Freecycle group, and any minute now a perfect stranger is going to show up and give our old stove a second life. That's what I call a happy ending.

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Flartus' First Giveaway!

Technically, this is my second giveaway, but I wasn't sure if those persimmon seeds were gonna work, so that first one was kinda lame. (Unless Alix ends up with a beautiful fruiting tree, in which case, oh my gosh, that was such an awesome giveaway!)

Ahem.

Anyway, here we are at the end of dreary February, having survived one miserable, cold, gray winter month after another. Many of us are still snow-shocked, and I'm beginning to count the sunny days as if I were back under Cleveland's cloudbank. So I figured it was time to bring somebody out there a little bit of cheer! It could be you receiving a (sort-of) surprise package sent to you from the heart of Flartopia!

To enter my First Fabulous Giveaway, simply write a comment to this post, answering the following two questions:

1) Which Flartopia (or My Two Sense) post have you enjoyed the most, or found the most memorable, and why?

2) What do you think the prize is!?

Entries must be postmarked submitted by midnight Thursday, March 4th. The winner will be randomly selected from all valid responses to #1. Feel free to enter multiple times, if you're so inclined.

And what about question #2? Well, if anyone happens to guess right, the first one is an automatic winner. I might just pop back here in day or two to add a hint, just for fun...

Snow Days Part 2; Gift from Laughing Orca Ranch

I'll bet you didn't even know there was a Part 1, did you? Well, I had such a lovely weekend I felt the need to boast share more of it! We woke up Saturday to an inch or so of snow, which, though a bit wet in the afternoon, eventually froze into a solid sheet. Areas that weren't heavily trafficked, while smooth, weren't particularly slick, so on Sunday I took Rosie for a "slide" instead of a walk.

Above and below are pictures I took around the pond in our neighborhood common area. I had little idea if they would come out well, since the sun was so bright--you know how impossible it is to see the screen on a digital camera. Fortunately, mine also has an old-fashioned viewfinder. This was the first time I'd been so completely dependent on it.


As we walked along, a troupe of four Canada geese came sailing in, honking their arrival and sinking through the air to land on the pond. Instead of the usual "kasplassshhhhhh" of a long water landing, I heard more of a "ksssshhhhh" as they landed agilely atop the thin layer of ice! They then proceeded to stroll around, while I wondered how likely they were to step onto a thin spot and fall through. Not very, I'll bet.

Backtracking a little...since Saturday's snowfall melted with the express intent of refreezing that night into smooth black ice, Chef Adam told Miss Chef to stay home. Which is why I had such a great weekend; once again we had Saturday and Sunday off together, just like REAL people! However, about an hour after he called, Miss Chef started getting antsy. Cabin fever, already?!?

Turns out, she was getting hungry, and craving "something cheesy, and something with gravy." None of which we had ready to hand. So we ventured out to the grocery store--after I had gone through all the trouble of going for milk the night before! I consoled myself with the fact that Miss Chef had actually used some milk already, to make biscuits (from Jiffy mix, don't get excited).

Her first concoction was mac 'n' cheese...

We like to put broccoli in ours, as you can tell. 'Cause, you know, cheddar and broccoli are a delicious combo, too. Miss Chef has taken to adding corn, too, mostly as an attempt to get more vegetables into me. The first time, I didn't notice until I was eating it, which is fortunate, because it sounded too weird to contemplate. But corn adds a lovely sweet contrast to the salty cheesiness. Really, it's good!

Now, I had planned ahead for Sunday dinner by pulling a turkey breast out to thaw on Friday night. And then, Saturday morning, I remembered...our oven only has one working element, and we have yet to figure out how to adjust time and temperature to work around it. (Witness those biscuits I referred to earlier, which turned out very white, and both under- and over-cooked at the same time. Neither one of us was upset when Rosie stole the leftovers off the counter later.)

Well, Sous-chef Flartus to the rescue! I had recently read an article about a family whose oven was broken at Thanksgiving, and who cooked their bird on the grill. It turned out so well, they've been doing it that way ever since! I mentioned it to Miss Chef, but wasn't sure it was an option for us. See, we have a 6-year old Weber-style kettle grill: very small, getting rusty, needing replacement. So I was thinking maybe we'd opt for asking the neighbors if we could borrow their oven, for a share in some turkey breast.

Miss Chef, however, had seized on the grill idea, and was ready to make a go of it. She seasoned the breast with salt and pepper, then put it in a shallow aluminum pan with water in it (to keep it moist). Then she just popped it on the grill, put the lid on, and walked away.

That's right--she set it and forget...ted it.

As I sat around lazily surfing the net and reading the paper, Miss Chef kept busy in the kitchen.

From front to back, those are glazed carrots, gravy from turkey stock (save those bones, people!), and chives on the cutting board ready to go into the mashed 'taters in the mixer. Oh yeah, I love it when Miss Chef has time to cook!
And the turkey? It took a few hours, but it came out looking gorgeous!

No basting, no glaze, just salt and pepper. I could have done the same thing, and it wouldn't look half this good. And it tasted amazing! Reminiscent of the smoked turkey legs at the Renaissance Festival. Some of the outer meat was a bit tough, but the flavor made it worth the extra chewing, and most of the meat was tender enough.

And for dessert...s'mores, of course!

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As you can imagine, heading back to work on Monday was a harsh dive back into reality. But when I got home, there was a lovely surprise waiting for me! Lisa of Laughing Orca Ranch had a giveaway a little ways back concerning some amusing chicken pictures, and chose my caption as a runner up. I had no idea what kind of "literary" award she had for me, but I was amazed at how well she nailed it!

Lemme tell ya, this is a great book for anyone who's ever lived in France. It's the (mostly) fictional story of a young Englishman working for a French company in Paris, and the ensuing linguistic and culture shock. All told in that charmingly dry British humour. Every scene brings back memories of my own experiences: figuring out clothing, greetings, waiters, and the weird ways the French re-interpret English words for their own use...but it's a lot funnier seeing somebody else deal with it. (And that's all just in the first 30 pages.)

Excellent choice, Lisa. Very well played! Thank you very much, I shall greatly enjoy it! I will be happy to recommend you as a personal shopper for anyone having trouble picking out gifts; you seem to have a knack for it.

On a related note, I'm hoping to have my own giveaway soon...though I still have to figure out what kind of hoops to have you jump through fun task to have you all do. Stay tuned!

Blog Award

So there I was, the other day, checking out the latest fabulousness at Not So Humble Pie. Not surprisingly, Ms. Humble had been awarded the Sugar Doll Award, and was, as usual, being quite amusing as she listed 10 facts about herself.

Then, to my utter amazement, she went and included me on the list of award nominees!

I've only been reading that blog for a few weeks, and have commented only a handful of times. So I surely was stunned to be plucked from the crowd, as it were, not to mention more flattered than a USO starlet visiting the troops.

Well, it's up to me now to carry the flag, I suppose. In relating ten things about myself, I'm guessing it should be ten things y'all don't already know...which may be difficult. So let's see...

1. I consider myself lazy, and those close to me won't disagree. Given my druthers, I'd spend all my free time reading and/or eating.

2. I'm quite short, about 5' 2" on a low-gravity day. Though some people have told me they don't consider me short, due to my overbearingwhelming personality. Ta!

3. I once got into an argument with a Russian Embassy guard in Paris--and won! He was bigger, but my French was better.

4. I'm not a morning person. However, since I'm forced to rise before dawn for work, I'm usually ready to head to bed by 9:30 these days. It seems I have a very limited productive period.

5. Even after having lived in France for two years, I neither smoke nor drink coffee.

6. I don't like most seafood, or any type of blue cheese. My favorite food group is starch.

7. I can tell the difference in odor between cow dung and horse dung. And I'm quietly proud of it.

8. In addition to being fluent in French, I'm uncomfortably conversational in Spanish, and have briefly studied Latin, German and Russian. Don't ask me to understand any of those last three, though.

9. I was a leading member of a comedy improv troupe in college, and will always and forever miss that whole experience. We even did a workshop with Martin DeMaat of Second City in Chicago (and if you don't know the name, trust me...he was gooooood.)

10. I completed all the coursework for a PhD in French linguistics, then left before taking the exams. To my surprise, I have never once regretted this decision. My parents, ten years later, still occasionally ask me about finishing my degree.

Wow...that was more fun and eye-opening than I expected! Ok, well, the next part here is where I shall once again come up short. I'm supposed to nominate 10 other bloggers for this award. But since the only details I know about this award is that it's "food related," and I'm not even sure that that's accurate...well, I'm not gonna do it. Because I don't read many food-focused blogs, and all of you have posted about some veeerrrry interesting dishes on occasion, so really, every blog I read is as qualified as every other.

Sorry to drop the ball like that...but, on the other hand, I guess that makes you all nominees! So, if you need an excuse to share some random details about yourself, then grab the award icon and have at it!

What It Means to Be a Woman

Big topic, huh? Not my usual fare. But Miss Liz of Eternal Lizdom has invited me to join a blog chain, and I love it when people invite me! Plus, this will take me in a different direction; stretch my writing muscles a little, as it were.

What does it mean to be a woman? Simplistically, it means having a period. I developed this working definition for myself back in college. This was in the first flowering of Political Correctness, and it was simply too much for me when a male friend of mine referred to a group of 2nd graders as "women." I immediately took offense. "Girl" is not a dirty word; it exists for a reason! I was highly insulted at the idea that years of wrestling with sex-starved boyfriends and a twisting uterus could be so minimized, just by giving those prepubescent innocents the same label as I.

I suppose that was the beginning of my realizing that "woman" means more than body parts. And, you know, some might say I'm barely qualified to opine on the subject. For one thing, I've pretty much left the whole man/woman communication/power struggle behind. By being in a relationship with another woman, I've lost the need for "his" and "her" distinctions at home.

For another thing, I'm not a mother, and never plan to be one. In most human societies, womanhood equals motherhood. From what I can tell, motherhood (and fatherhood) completely redefines a person.

So what does that leave me, as a woman, other than a twisting uterus? Oh, just a whole lot of image problems and guilt! Seriously, being a woman in 21st-century America is complicated, since society is changing so rapidly. I have a job, but not really a career; I have clothes, but not really a wardrobe; I have facial soap, perfume, jewelry etc., but not really any fashion sense (or interest!).

In short, it's hard to nail down, and as a 21st-century American woman, I'm really busy (two jobs, household, blogging, etc.) So I'm going to be stupid efficient: I'll give you some dots, and let you connect them!

For me, being a woman means...

...freaking out men by talking about things like "uterus" and "menstruation."

...getting used to being referred to as a "lady" instead of a "girl;" going from "Miss" to "Ma'am."

...comparing myself to my mother.

...reminding men that I'm here, too.

...using the "p" word, but only with very, very close friends.

...shocking men with the "f" word every once in a while.

...deciding to age naturally.

...hating my body (there, I said it).

...feeling like a second-class citizen as a childless woman.

...being glad I don't have to "woman up" or "be a woman."

...laughing at men for their obsession with size.

...appreciating the freedom to wear pants, hold a job and own property.

...changing my mind a lot.

...changing my clothes a lot.

...understanding the need for 5 pairs of black heels.

...fearing strange men in the dark.

...learning to crouch over public toilets (good for the quads!).

...being confused, intimidated, frustrated and disgusted by fashion.

...blaming men, unfairly, for high heels.

...being proud to be descended from my grandmothers.

...empathizing with women around the world who are abused & oppressed.

...being jealous of beautiful women.

...being misunderstood by my brother.

...confusing the hell out of my father.

...not being able to get married.

...having an instant connection with other women (see #1)

...dancing in public if I want to.

...needing to talk.

...learning to cry.

...knowing how to put on a bra.

...not being afraid to touch other people.

...being able to sing "Roxanne."

...being included in a warm, caring & supportive group of bloggers who understand the need for kind words and emotional support.

You Really Do!

And it's a miracle, really. I mean, I've almost completely ignored the awards you all have been giving me. No tearful, exuberant speeches, nothing.

I must have done something amazing in a past life.

Anyway, I am way past due for an awards thank you post. I've gathered some interesting, warm and sincere blog buddies over the past months, and that makes me happy. Having them acknowledge my own litte efforts here sure is icing on that sweet, sweet cake.

So, without further ado, let me present my own Award Awards. Oh, wait, there is a little ado: please don't feel obligated to follow all the rules; I truly just want to recognize you, not create an obligation. Ok, now let's get started!

The Thank You for Your Patience Award goes to Liz at Eternal Lizdom, for waiting three months for me to do something with the Sisterhood Award!

Of course, these all come with instructions, to wit: First, share memories or thoughts of childhood or adulthood sister-friends. Funny, sad, whatever.

My sister-friends are my college buddies/roommates from my undergraduate days. There were six of us who met freshman year, and stayed together throughout college. Last November, I wrote a post about introducing Miss Chef to them at a wedding. We've moved, married, lost parents, and one of us has even reproduced. We don't talk nearly as often as I'd like, but the ties are still there.

Senior year, five of us rented an apartment together--many, many memories. Can I pick just one? Of course not. There was the Couch Monster that sucked Michelle in every afternoon, the Star Wars marathon, the housewarming party Shelly invited the entire Campus Dems group to, the Family Dinners where Amy showed off her cooking skills by tossing a salad, the Saturday nights at the ATO house with Pork Chop and Elvis, the many, many evenings at Saloon, with Sue leading us in a parade of $1 tips for our favorite bartender--where there's a Will, there's a mighty fine drink.

I remember their understanding and acceptance of my own foibles, from my self-righteousness, to my uncontrollable ebullience on Monday nights after the weekly meeting of our improv troupe.

And I still owe Audrey a phone call, just to catch up.

The second part of the instructions is, of course, to pass the award on to however many bloggers you'd like to share this with- but to make sure you share this award specifically with bloggers that you feel a kinship with. Bloggers you learn from or feel that you teach, bloggers you've connected with in a really familiar and friendly way.

As usual, the ones I'd like to award have already received this award...but maybe not all. So I'll pass it on to Alix, at Casa Hice, who swept me up into her blogger arms and whirled me into this little community; to Claire, at Whispering Acres, who, I suspect, wouldn't know how to be unfriendly if she had to; to Joanna at BooneDocks Wilcox, for her unfailing honesty and willingness to share--and back to Liz, who's so full of love, it almost oozes out of the screen.

Our next Award Award goes to Alix, of Casa Hice: the Beautiful Words Award for the wonderful things she said about me when presenting the Keepsake Award.

Okay, instruction #1 is to post a funny or sweet Keepsake Memory that tells something about myself. This was a very hard choice for me... but the final selection is clear. I asked Miss Chef, and she immediately responded with a memory that I'd had in mind. One that she wasn't even there for, but which makes her laugh.

A hot July afternoon in Suburbia, Ohio. A small gaggle of young children--aged 3 to 7, maybe--play in the fenced-in area around a large in-ground pool. There are several bikes on the wide concrete patio surrounding the pool, including a classic red tricycle. The young golden retriever with them is enjoying all the hubbub, gamboling about from child to child. They are all watched over by a young teen girl from across the street.

The gaggle of kids at one point starts to promenade around the pool on their collection of bikes & trikes. The dog, happy to join in, decides to assume one of its favorite positions: front feet up on the back "step" of the tricycle, back feet walking along as usual.

Except there's one problem: the force of the dog's landing on the step propels the trike forward unexpectedly, effectively pushing it straight into the deep end of the pool.

Now, I'm not 100% sure that it was Buffy's fault I drove my trike into the pool; I may have simply been distracted, or got too close to the kid in front of me. But the end result was me, on my trike, sinking down into eight feet of water, and feeling more than a little bewildered.

I did know something about swimming, though I still hadn't graduated from using my styrofoam "watermelon" float in the pool. I was not unfamiliar with being in the water, and so I don't think I was particularly frightened. I wasn't worried about myself, but about getting my bike out of the pool.

My first reaction was to pedal--as hard as I could. Somehow I thought this would at least propel me in some direction: if not up, then at least closer to the shallow end I was more comfortable with. Needless to say, it didn't work. So I frantically pedaled my way straight to the bottom, where I'd never been, and landed there, still astride the trike.

The neighbor's girl, Sharon, immediately dived into the water to save me. Bless her! For once she reached me, she actually had to pry my fingers from the handlebars. I don't remember every detail about this event, but I do remember clearly that I was convinced my parents would leave the trike in the pool. I don't know why--as punishment? Who knows. But I was determined that if they wanted me, they weren't getting me without the tricycle.

Well, being a three-year old, I didn't get my way, and Sharon finally pried me off the bike and whisked me to the surface, saving my life and undoubtedly earning the eternal gratitude of my parents. They probably even let her get my trike out of the pool, too. I don't remember. In fact, I don't have any other memories of that tricycle, in spite of its obvious importance to me at the time!

So, what does this memory tell about me? I asked Miss Chef, and she said, "That you're hard-headed....or, determined." Depends on what kind of spin you want to put on it. I think it also points out some less flattering traits, such as my attachment to material objects, and maybe my taking for granted the things other people do for me. (Like giving me blog awards, hmmm??)

Now, instruction #2 is to award this to 10 other blogs. Sorry, but I'm not sure I read 10 other blogs...and again, y'all have pretty much already gotten this award. So I'm going to choose ONE blog which I find particularly memorable: Lisa's, at Laughing Orca Ranch. She has been sharing with us the heartbreaking and heartwarming story of recovery from a serious horseback riding accident, and her love / fear relationship with her beautiful paint mare, Baby Doll. Plus, she takes amazing photos of her New Mexico countryside.

(Phew, this is taking longer than I thought...but these awards programs usually do run over, don't they?)

Okay, next up is the Out of the Blue Award, which goes to Daisy Soap Girl, for popping up on my blog to offer me the Kreative Blogger Award.

This is indeed an honor, as much as the others, because I do really appreciate creativity, and it's flattering that you find my little collection of words and pictures creative enough to commemorate!

This one, ironically enough, comes with lots of rules!

1. Recipient is to place the award logo on their blog. (done)
2. Post a link to the person who awarded you. (done)
3. List 7 things you love.
4. List 7 blogs you love and awarded.
5. Leave a message for the 7 blogs you awarded.

Ok, I like #3! Seven things I love:

1. Family and friends, with a Special Mention for Miss Chef
2. Dogs, with special mentions for Amber, Charlie and Rosie
3. Chocolate
4. Nature
5. Reading and books
6. Teaching (oh, and I have big news about this, but it's gonna have to wait--I'm such a tease!)
7. Pseudo-farming--growing some of our own food, and one day having a small flock of chickens. Like Joanna, I'd love to spend time puttering around a small, animal-filled acreage without having to go to a job.

Seven blogs I love...let's see, I bet I could come up with seven (in no particular order):

1. The Fifty Factor: too funny!
2. Goats in the Garden: unvarnished truth about life with animals
3. Whispering Acres: such the overachiever up there in Iowa
4. Casa Hice: you never know what you're gonna get
5. Eternal Lizdom: like moths to light, love attracts us all
6. Stuff Parisians Like: evocative of a very special year in my life
7. Cake Wrecks: Jen is hysterical, every single day

Okay, I'll be off to visit my 7 loved blogs in a little bit, for that whole notification thing... but there's one last award to hand out. The Aw, You Shouldn't Have Award goes, again, to Liz, for doubling up, and giving me the Love My Friends Award.

"The Love My Friends Award is given to those bloggers who aspire, inspire and share the most beautiful of human attributes: art, wisdom and friendship. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more."

Well, this is getting serious...hm, art, wisdom and friendship. Well, I'm going to re-write the rules once more, and award three bloggers, one for each attribute. Art: Laughing Orca Ranch, for Lisa's amazing photos, and the way she shows us as she experiments (you didn't know you were doing that, did you?). Wisdom: right back atcha, Liz! For friendship, I'll have to award two: Alix at Casa Hice for always being there, and Claire at Whispering Acres, for connecting in real life.

Ok, cue the orchestra, it's time to leave! But I would like to just cram in a last general thank you, over the tinkling music, to everyone who's created this circle of friends in Blogland. Thanks for coming to my little party; I'm having a great time with you!

Those of you who have actually read all the way through this enormous post deserve to know that I'll be headed out of town next week, so you won't be hearing from me for a little while. Please come back whenever I resurface, as I expect to have at least one or two interesting tales from my trip to Chicago, where I'll meet up with some great old friends!

Tag, I'm It!

Alix at Casa Hice tagged me to play this "8 Things" game. I guess tag is a better analogy than, say, the flu, huh?

Anyway, once tagged, you get to post your own lists of 8 things. I like this one; it challenges me to give my life a good solid look, and focus on some positive things!

8 Things I Did Yesterday
1) Read the Sunday paper and clipped my coupons
2) Helped Miss Chef transplant tomato seedlings into the garden
3) Started Rosie on her new diet of half-canned food, per the vet's strong recommendation
4) Played around in the internet; got 7 comments on my last post!
5) Went with Miss Chef to Marble Slab Creamery for her strawberry and strawberry fix
6) Took the trash & recycling out to the curb before nightfall.
7) Cooked dinner for Miss Chef & myself--oversalted the mashed 'taters, but the chicken was good!
8) Watched the end of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and all of Desperate Housewives.

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To
1) A week's vacation in July
2) Completely paying off my credit card--TODAY!
3) Harvesting the first peas out of the garden
4) Mother's Day--I'll either be visiting Mom, or hostessing at the restaurant again
5) Mom's visit this summer to help with Miss Chef's Great Canning Days
6) The day in the distant future that Miss Chef finally pays off her student loans
7) The day in the distant future that our red maple tree is big enough to shade the front door
8) The next farmers' market

8 Things I Wish I Could Do
1) Travel once or twice a year for a week or more
2) Spend nights & weekends with Miss Chef
3) Like seafood & vegetables
4) Go snorkeling
5) Replace 25 lbs of fat with 10 lbs of muscle overnight
6) Train Rosie perfectly
7) See my niece & nephews more often
8) Live somewhere I could have chickens

8 Shows That I Watch
I had to cheat a little, as we don't have cable, and have tried to cut back on tv.
1) Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
2) Desperate Housewives
3) Two and a Half Men (syndicated reruns)
4) Scrubs (syndicated reruns)
5) The Office
6) local news (sometimes)
7) Mystery Science Theater 3000 (old taped shows)
8) Alton Brown's Good Eats (on dvd)

Now I'm supposed to tag 8 other people, but I don't usually have enough bloggers to tag, so I'm just gonna say, Hey, if you think this is fun, do it in your blog, too!

Tag, you're it!

Miss Chef Takes a Test

So, as I mentioned yesterday, I decided to try the Newlywed Game with Miss Chef. As with the original game show, we each tried to figure out what the other would answer to these personal questions. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I didn't know Miss Chef as well as I thought! Ah well, it's been less than a decade; I'm sure we'll have lots more time to learn!

For each question, I've written the "correct" answer, that is, what each of us would answer for ourselves. If the other person guessed something different, that follows in parentheses. So, for example, if my favorite soup were broccoli cheddar, but Miss Chef thought I liked chicken noodle, I'd write this:

Flartus: broccoli cheddar (chicken noodle)

If there are no parentheses, we got it right. I feel kinda dumb having to do an example, but with both of our answers represented, I didn't want it to get confusing!

1. She's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
Flartus: PBS
Miss Chef: My Wife and Kids

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does she get on her salad?
Flartus: ranch (vinaigrette)
Miss Chef: ranch

3. What's one food she doesn't like?
Flartus: seafood
Miss Chef: bleu cheese (seafood)

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does she order?
Flartus: red wine
Miss Chef: white wine (Miller Lite...I was thinking of bar food)

5. Where did she go to high school?
Flartus: Chardon HS
Miss Chef: Alabama School of Math & Science

6. What size shoe does she wear?
Flartus: 6 1/2 (7 1/2...sometimes, depends on the shoe)
Miss Chef: 10 (9)

7. If she were to collect anything, what would it be? (We both had trouble answering this for ourselves!)
Flartus: Mystery Science Theater 3000 (books)
Miss Chef: bowls (books)

8. What is her favorite type of sandwich?
Flartus: peanut butter & jelly with a slice of bologna (This is the most personal thing I've ever revealed on this blog...please be gentle.)
Miss Chef: roast beef & asiago from Panera

9. What would she eat every day if she could?
Flartus: chicken (pbjb sammidges)
Miss Chef: salad

10. What is her favorite cereal?
Flartus: Special K (Mini Frosted Wheats)
Miss Chef: Lucky Charms (Cheerios)

11. What would she never wear?
Flartus: bikini (thong...close enough)
Miss Chef: dress (heels...my first guess was "slinky dress")

12. What is her favorite sports team?
Flartus: Cleveland Indians
Miss Chef: Atlanta Braves

13. Who did she vote for?
Flartus: Obama
Miss Chef: Obama

14. Who is her best friend?
Flartus: Miss Chef
Miss Chef: Flartus

15. What is something you do that she wishes you wouldn't do?
Flartus: nag
Miss Chef: crack her knuckles (leave projects unfinished)

16. What is her heritage?
Flartus: Russian, German, French, Irish (Polish...the Russians were there for a coupla generations)
Miss Chef: Hungarian, Italian, German (I missed German)

17. You bake her a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
Flartus: Chokkit!
Miss Chef: German chocolate

18. Did she play sports in high school?
Flartus: No, just horseback riding (track...that was middle school)
Miss Chef: volleyball, soccer, swimming, basketball (I missed b'ball)

19. What could she spend hours doing?
Flartus: blogging (watching tv...what?? nah!)
Miss Chef: cooking (reading)

20. What is one unique talent she has?
Flartus: teaching people stuff (hearing everything someone says)
Miss Chef: cooking / seeing both sides of an issue (making sauces)

I only got 10 right, Miss Chef only got 8! Wow...funny thing is, after we'd compared answers, but before I actually tallied the results, I was under the impression that Miss Chef knew me better than I knew her. I wonder why that is? Well, if nothing else, I'm happy to know her favorite cereal! Maybe I can surprise her the next time I go grocery shopping.

Thanks for playing, and as always, feel free to stea...I mean, borrow!

Premio Dardo

Huh, well, looky what landed here a coupla days ago:

It's another blog award! Again, from Alix; this one is called the Premio Dardo (Spanish for "Dart Award.") According to several sources, including Alix, the award "acknowledges the values that every blogger shows in his or her effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values every day."

(This description kills me, for its redundancy makes it speak circles, but I found the Spanish version online, and it contains the same redundancy...so I guess I will continue showing my values in transmitting my personal values...or something.)

From what I can read between the lines, its original intent is to show admiration for a blogger's "word darts," i.e., getting one's point across cleanly and pointedly, as well as having a point to get across. And that, I will gladly take an award for!

Of course, nothing for nothing...or something for something; there are always rules and requirements with these things:

STEP 1: Respond and rework. Answer the following questions on my blog, replacing one question that I dislike with a question of my own invention.

STEP 2: Add one more question of my own. (Hmm...there are going to be an awful lot of questions on this thing eventually.)

1) What are you wearing right now?
Jeans, sweatshirt and grampa slippers

2) What is your biggest fear?
Financial insolvency

3) What was your worst subject in school?
Math

4) Who is the last person you hugged?
Miss Chef

5) What websites do you visit when you go online?
My online email, this blog ('cause I can see who's updated theirs in the right margin!) and Facebook

6) What was the last item you bought?
Five boxes of Girl Scout cookies

7) If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Everywhere...but I'd start in Paris.

8) If you couldn't have your current job, and money were not an issue, what would be your second choice?

Miss Chef's front of house manager. Or dog trainer, maybe.

9) Has a celebrity's hair cut ever influenced your own hairstyle?
No, but only because my hair refused to do the Farrah flip.

10) What is your most embarrassing moment?
Farting in the library in high school. Does life get any more embarrassing than adolescence?

11) What was the last movie you watched?
Stranger than Fiction--Emma Thompson is BRILLIANT in it!

12) If you had a whole day to yourself with no work, commitments, or interruptions what would you do?
Ha ha ha ha! That's what I've had the past 4 days, and now I'm going crazy! Read, nap, blog.

13) If you were to win the Powerball, what would you do with the money (besides invest it)?
Pay off my & Miss Chef's debts, give some to my parents and our lottery buddy Andrea. Travel, visit family, open Miss Chef's restaurant, and buy a small farmstead.

14) In your opinion, who is the most significant person in history and why?

Whoever figured out agriculture.

15) If you could learn to cook one dish to perfection, what would it be?

Chicken alfredo

STEP 3: Tag eight other bloggers. Now, I have the same problem I always have with this. I don't really read that many blogs, and most of the ones I do came my way through Alix. So I'm going to be naughty, and only award four. So sue me.

1. Liz at Eternal Lizdom

2. Claire at Whispering Acres (formerly Is This Heaven? No, It's Iowa!)

3. TangoBaby at...Tangobaby

4. Freddie at his Facebook page, so you'll just have to believe me. Sorry!

(I would also award it to Joanna at BooneDocksWilcox and Shiloh Prarie Farms at Goats in the Garden, but Alix beat me to it.)

99 Things

Yet another idea stolen from someone else's blog! Claire at Is this heaven? No, this is Iowa shared her 99 Things the other day. The idea is to declare whether you've done these things, wish you could, or have no interest in them. There were so many cool ones, and I couldn't help but compare my experiences with hers, so I wanted to do it myself!

The bold ones I've done, the gold ones I want to do, and the plain ones...no thanks!

1. Started your own blog.

2. Slept under the stars.

3. Played in a band. (unless you count middle school band...I played clarinet.)

4. Visited Hawaii.

5. Watched a meteor shower.

6. Given more than you can afford to charity. (I can't pay off my credit card, but I still send $24 a month to sponsor a girl in Senegal.)

7. Been to Disneyland/world.

8. Climbed a mountain. (I climbed something in Sweden, but I think it was just a big hill. Oh, and we drove up Pike's Peak in Colorado when I was 6!)

9. Held a praying mantis.

10. Sang a solo.

11. Bungee jumped. (Never gonna happen!)

12. Visited Paris. (I actually lived there for about 10 months.)

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea. (I think I'd be nervous.)

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch. (Don't have one in mind, but I love my creative side.)

15. Adopted a child. (Just a dog.)

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty. (My dad's from NYC, and I've visited numerous times, but have never made it to visit Miss Liberty.)

18. Grown your own vegetables. (Oh yeah...stay tuned for my gardening posts this spring!)

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France. (It's a bit anticlimactic...the rest of the Louvre is vastly more interesting.)

20. Slept on an overnight train. (Several times, going from Paris to Barcelona & throughout Spain.)

21. Had a pillow fight.

22. Hitch hiked. (Hail, no!)

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill. (although I still count them as mental health days)

24. Built a snow fort (Fond memories of actually getting along with my brother for a day!)

25. Held a lamb. (I don't think so, though I got to pet them every year at the county fair.)

26. Gone skinny dipping. (just with my cousin, in our own pool...but still, it felt really cool without a bathing suit.)

27. Run a marathon. (I find running boring, and I hate to sweat!)

28. Ridden a gondola in Venice.

29. Seen a total eclipse.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset. (Is this just so everyone can say "yes" to at least one item?)

31. Hit a home run. (Although I love to watch baseball, I get scared of the ball headed toward me!)

32. Been on a cruise. (Don't know if I'd like it, but I'm willing to give it a shot!)

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person (Only once, even though I spent 25 years within a day's drive!)

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors. (Sort of...visited most of the countries my various ancestors came from.)

35. Seen an Amish community (The county I grew up in had a large Amish population.)

36. Taught yourself a new language. (Technically, this is impossible...realistically, it's incredibly difficult, and why would you want to do something the hard way when the easy way is so fun?)

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. (I could go out to eat without feeling guilty!)

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing.

40. Seen Michelangelo's David in person.

41. Sung Karaoke.

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt. (We went to Yellowstone, but I don't think we saw Old Faithful.)

43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant. (Sadly, I don't think this would ever occur to me.)

44. Visited Africa. (Just Tangiers, but it counts!)

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance. (Once...concussion from falling off a horse.)

47. Had your portrait painted.

48. Gone deep sea fishing. (I'd rather just go cruising.)

49. Seen the Sistine chapel in person (Rome is on my List.)

50. Been to the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling (Snorkeling...I was an instant convert.)

52. Kissed in the rain.

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theatre (and yes, I ended up in the back seat!)

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business (One day Miss Chef hopes to start a restaurant, and I will be her front of house manager.)

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia (ancestral land!)

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout cookies. (We had to sell spice sets for band...they were horrible!)

62. Gone whale watching

63. Gotten flowers for no reason (Just last week, after a horrible day at work.)

64. Donated blood (...but I'm so afraid of needles!)

65. Gone sky diving. (I used to think I'd do this to cure my fear of heights, but I've changed my mind.)

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp (Dachau)

67. Bounced a check (My last rent check in Paris! Oops!)

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial (DC is also on my List.)

71. Eaten Caviar (Bleagh!)

72. Pieced a quilt (I do not have the patience for that.)

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job (missed being laid off by a week, though)

76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London

77. Broken a bone

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person (I reportedly complained it was too hot.)

80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car (It's a stupid way to spend your money...believe me, I work in auto finance!)

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper (once with a ferret)

85. Read the entire Bible (Tried when I was 6, never tried again.)

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. (No, just raised them...Dad did the butchering.)

88. Had chickenpox.

89. Saved someone’s life (Not that I know of!)

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous (Alice Waters! ...and David Letterman's mom.)

92. Joined a book club (I would love to talk about the books I read with friends!)

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby

95. Seen the Alamo in person (For some reason, this has never interested me.)

96. Swum in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee

So what does that tell you about me? That I love to talk about myself? That I've traveled, and I don't like athletic activities.

What does it tell me about myself? That I love to talk about myself! And I've done a lot of cool stuff, and there's a lot more cool stuff left to do!

The Interview

Lovely Liz at Eternal Lizdom has volunteered to interview anyone who wants it. I suppose the very fact of having a blog makes one a bit of an exhibitionist, so I decided to get in on the fun. I was excited to see what burning questions she'd want to ask, and a little nervous about having to reveal something I wasn't ready for. But Liz seems like a gentle soul, so here goes:

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1. I love a good story...so tell me the story of how you and Miss Chef met!

You'll have to forgive me for remaining a little vague on some details, but I can certainly give you the gist of the story. I was in a PhD program, and had come to the realization that it wasn't worth going through the dissertation process, only to spend my career doing research I wasn't really interested in. (As a friend is fond of saying: "Gifted...but not necessarily bright!")

Since what I really wanted to do was teach, I did a job search for community colleges and private high schools. I ended up at a magnet school in Alabama, of all places, where Miss Chef was a recent graduate and had returned to work as a Resident Assistant. I was blown away by her down-to-earth common sense, and we got to be great friends. She, on the other hand, had spotted me on my interview visit and was smitten. I, still blissfully convinced I was straight, had no clue how much I was confusing her...until she finally got up the nerve to kiss me. We've been together 8 years now.

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2. You shared that Miss Chef hasn't come out to her parents. Are you out to your friends and family? How was that journey for you?

Yes, I am, thank God! I came out to my friends first, because I knew they would be okay with it--although I was a little nervous about some of my closest ones thinking I had been lusting after them in college, they were great! Coming out to my parents was much, much more difficult. I was 30 years old; it was not like they were expecting it. But I felt that they were open-minded enough to accept it at least a little bit, and I hated that I couldn't share the best parts of my life with them.

At first they were very unhappy, angry, frustrated, but kept a lot of that to themselves. It took a long time for them to accept Miss Chef as my significant other, but we've hit a very nice point now. I think that we had to be more honest about our emotions than we tend to be in my family, and it's made our relationship better. I'm not sure they're 100% happy with my "choice" of Miss Chef, but they're not complaining anymore! My brother didn't seem to care; he claimed he wasn't surprised, and he and his wife are very happy to have the kids call Miss Chef "Aunt."

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3. Is Rosie your first dog, or do you have a history of dogs and pets behind you?

I grew up in an old farmhouse, with lots and lots of animals! We got our first dog when I was about two--Dad would only allow golden retrievers in the house. Charlie, the current family dog, is our third.

I think my first pet was a frog I fished out the swimming pool with the aid of the dog. I also had a string of cats, parakeets, turtles, hermit crabs, fish, and mice, as well as raising chickens and rabbits for non-pet purposes (if you catch my drift). Plus, my brother had some anoles he'd share with me, and he got into the habit of catching "pet" garter snakes, just to freak out my mom. However, Rosie is my first very-own dog as an adult person. I knew that whenever I finally bought a house, a dog would be part of the package.

On the other hand, I never did get the pony I put on my Christmas list every single year for decades.

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4. What's a regular day like in the life of Flartus?

Frankly, boring. Why do you think I spend so much time blogging?? ☺

Weekdays I work a typical 8-5 office job, sitting in front of a computer and making phone calls. When I get home, I take Rosie for a half-hour walk, then I either do household chores, screw around on the internet, or read. This does not apply when Miss Chef is home, in which case most of that screwing around is replaced with dinner & cleanup.

On the weekends, we often hit two farmer's markets on Saturday mornings, and then Miss Chef uses our purchases to make lunch. Then she goes off to work, while I either do house/yardwork, or sit around and read while feeling guilty about neglecting my house/yardwork. However, Saturday and Sunday mornings are supposed to also be volunteer time, so in the future I hope to be able to talk about that! Sundays are the only day Miss Chef and I have the whole day off together, so of course we spend it, romantically, at WalMart or Home Depot, or choring. Unless we sit around reading all day!

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5. What on earth does Flartus mean??

I'm so glad you asked! It was the nickname my dad came up with for our second family dog, Amber. (That's her picture up top.) She was kind of an oddball, and Flartus really captured the goofiness of this dog that only cared about chasing her ball, regardless of injury or looking silly. She's the only golden I know who was a picky eater! She came into our lives when I was 16, and I honestly feel that she was my first child; it was the first time I understood what it really meant to love some"one" unconditionally. I will always miss her.

And why did I use that as my name? Well, it's the only one I know that will never be taken on a server, so when I got frustrated trying versions of "My 2 Sense," that's where I went. (By the way, I find it very, very irritating that the owner of that blog name has only made 3 posts since, like, 2004. Jerk.)

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Thanks for letting me spill, Liz! And if anyone has any follow-up questions, please ask! You know how I love to blather!