I've been busy, I've been lazy.
Excited, exhausted.
Thrilled, frustrated.
And through it all, not the least bit inspired.
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| Well...maybe a little, here and there. |
In short, work is kicking my tail, the presidency of the board of our homeowners' association has been overwhelming, bills keep popping up to eat up everything we're supposed to be saving for our trip, and I've been letting all that stress get to me physically. Sleeping poorly, feeling draggy and tense at the same time, missing the sun but dreading the sunrise that drags me out of bed to do it all again.
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| A "popcorn tree," per Lisa's twinlings, against the morning sun |
Still, I've found a few moments of happy distraction...calling my nephew in London for his 12th birthday, while standing in the sun in the parking lot at work--how amazing is that, this small plastic gadget connecting us across the ocean and multiple time zones? I have to wonder what my grandmother would have thought.
A daylight walk with a grateful and contented Rosie through our neighborhood, amazed by the succession of trees launching their pure flowers at the sunlight: pear, apple, cherry...
...and I try to keep alive the little thrill I feel every time I downsize my many windows on my computer at work, and see my desktop background of a street shot in Paris. My brain thinks, "Paris! I'm going there!" Miss Chef's chef is planning on closing the restaurant for their annual vacation while we're gone, and taking his family to Paris as well. Perhaps we'll meet up for dinner.
Miss Chef, who works even more hours than I, has been my rock the past week or so. We constantly tell each other how grateful we are for each other. She's been picking up my slack without complaint. She knows when to treat me gently, when to jiggle me from my apathy, when to let me babble.
And I know that this is just a passing phase, that soon I will find my feet again and shrug off the inconveniences and obstacles of daily life and crises.
Tomorrow is a start. Tomorrow we're going kayaking again at the US National Whitewater Center. Tonight I feel like a slug in winter...perhaps tomorrow it will feel like spring.
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear things have been a bit rough. I know those doldrums, and know how miserable they can be. I always try to remember the image of the wheel - you go up, you go down. So when you feel near the bottom you can take heart in knowing that soon you'll be on the way up again. It brings me comfort when I'm low, and keeps me grateful when I'm high since I know that won't last, either! It's all life - and aren't we lucky to have the adventure?
ReplyDeleteIt's March. Thing always seem slow and dreary in March. You're right, soon things will pick up and you'll be your old self again.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking of you a lot lately and hoping things have been getting better. Hang in there. And keep doing what your gut tells you. :)
ReplyDelete{{{Hugs}}} I hope you have a blast on the water and come home with a "spring" in your step.
ReplyDeleteI hope you had fun kayaking. I love Spring in Charlotte! So pretty. I'm posting about a trip to Reedy Creek park over the weekend. We just walked a trail, nothing exciting.
ReplyDeleteJust think how boring life would be if you didn't have the ups and downs?! Yeah, I know...bring it on!!! Hopefully things will smooth out as spring advances.
ReplyDeleteIt's just the in-betweeners....not quite winter...and not quite Spring, even with all the signs.
ReplyDeleteThe weather here has been in the 60's and 70's. I am itching to start a garden, but I know our last frost can be in May. How unfair is that?
So I sit twiddling my thumbs...and going on road trips to fill in my time.
The photos were gorgeous, especially the flowers. But the popcorn tree made me smile :)
~Lisa