What’s Up, Puppy Dog?

Hi everyone, it’s your favorite doggy!  That’s me, Rosie.

This is my Cute face.  It’s very effective after People Dinner.

 

If you haven’t met me before, I am a purebred Shelter Dog, with special qualifications in affection, temperament, easy training and hybrid vigor.  (Mommy helped me with that last one.)  I came to live here in 2006, and they told my Mommy I was two ears old, so now she says I’m eight ears.  But I don’t know where the other ears are, because I still only hear out of two.

Today Mommy #1 wanted to let you know what’s up with me, because she hasn’t said much about me lately, and she said I’ve been on her mind a lot.  (Isn’t that nice?)  She felt silly writing a whole story about her dog, so I said, “It’s all about me, let me do it!”  She said I might not get everything right, but then she said maybe all the details aren’t that important.  So she said I might as well.

Today I went to the Rosie People place for the second time in a month.  This is a special place we take a RIDE to, where lots of ladies pet me and give me treats and tell me how pretty I am.  Sometimes they make me stand on a Wiggly Floor and they poke around back there like the rudest, dumbest boy dog you can imagine, but mostly they give me treats.  Today, though there was more poking than usual and hardly any treats!  I used to love going to see the Rosie People, but I am thinking about changing my mind.

Now that I think about it, this all actually started last month, when I heard Mommy #1 on the phone with the Rosie People, telling on me!  She was saying she thinks I’m too skinny, and then she tattled about my little accidents in the guest room. I didn’t think it was that big a deal. I mean, since Mommy was putting out special towels and stuff for me to pee on, I thought we were ok. But I guess she got tired of washing my towels every other day, and she thought the Rosie People could show me how to wait until outside pee-pee time.

When I went the first time, last month, the Rosie People took me outside to pee, and then while I was doing that, they snuck up behind me with a ladle…it was weird.  But that was all they did, so I don’t know how that’s supposed to show me how not to pee inside.  I guess they must have looked in the ladle, though, because when Mommy #1 came to get me later, they said I had some kind of infestation in there.  So they give Mommy two weeks’ worth of anti-bionic pills for me.  I didn’t like them as treats, but they were ok in my food, and I didn’t turn into a robot, so I guess they worked.  I felt better for a little while, and didn’t use my special toilet, but then I did again, and Mommy didn’t seem very happy.  Isn’t that what it’s there for?

On the other hand, Mommy was giving me extra yummers!  I guess the Rosie People didn’t have an answer for my weight problem, so Mommy just started giving me a whole can of yummers at breakfast and dinner.  Wow!  It’s good, because I’m still hungry all the time, and I know they don’t like it when I get on the counter and eat Mommy #2’s candy, but I’m hungry.  Mommy #1 calls me her starvin’ Marvin, which is dumb, because I’m not even a boy.  But I am starvin’, so she’s got some sense.

After a while with extra yummers and some more consistent WALKS to let me pee more often, I guess I was still using the toilet too much and still not fat enough.  So like I said, Mommy #1 brought me to see the Rosie People again today.  There were other dogs there like always, and they were interesting, but I didn’t really feel like tugging on my leash and insisting on a sniff.  In fact, I was a very good girl while we were waiting, I mostly sat down by Mommy and watched.  Which Mommy said was kind of odd, because usually I try to pull her around the corner to find that cat I know lives there somewhere.

Where was I?  Oh yeah, my second visit today with the sneaky Rosie People.  After we waited, the ladies brought us in the back and were all nice and “Hi Sweetie, what a pretty girl!” like they usually are, but then they grabbed my nose and held my head up and gave me a big pinch right in my neck!  Ow!  Oh, and they snuck up behind me with that ladle again.  They’re getting weird.  I think I need to talk to Mommy #1 about them.

Anyway, after some more waiting, we talked to another lady, and she said I have something like back-year in my urine again, and they don’t know where it’s coming from.  Mommy thought maybe my long fluffy pants on my back legs might be part of the problem.  She tries to keep it trimmed with a scissors because sometimes it gets in the way and it gets dirty when I squat (I can’t help it, I don’t do it on purpose!)   But Mommy says she’s not so happy with her scissors trimming, so the doctor and another lady used a clipper thing and gave me a haircut back there.  I didn’t really want a trim, but Mommy made me look at her and told me I had to put up with it, so I did some licking and chewing to let her know it was ok if they all insisted.  I was mostly afraid all the other dogs would laugh at my naked butt, but actually it doesn’t look too bad. 

The Doctor lady also said that I had lost two pounds since last month, and she thinks I’m too skinny too.  She said she’s going to test my blood and call Mommy on Monday…but then we left, so I don’t know when I’m going to take this test.  I hope it’s not hard, but Mommy says she would like any kind of definite answer so she knows how to help me.  Then she gave me a whole can for morning yummers, which is a good start, I think.  She says she doesn’t like to pet me when all she can feel is bones, so maybe my test is to see how much yummers I can eat.  That should be easy!

Right now, though, the lawn mower people are here, so I have to go keep an eye on them.  Because no matter how many back-years or tests around here, I have a job to do!

Mommy note: As you can see in this photo, Rosie still looks good, and her energy and behavior seem pretty normal.  But she’s about 8 pounds lighter than she should be, and I was alarmed to learn she’d lost so much in a month, even with bigger rations.  Like Rosie said, I hope we can just get some kind of definite answers, because, as even my lawn guy said, she’s “a good one,” and I would like several more good “ears” with her.